Saturday, 23 February 2013

Of Things Left Untold

In the past they wrote diaries. Now we blog. What compels us to write them in the first place? Obviously,there is this desire to put into words our ideas, beliefs and emotions at any instance of time. We want to preserve them for posterity. There is also the wish to reach out to others. The idea that someone, somewhere is reading our thoughts and maybe, feeling connected in a remote way, is enticing indeed.

When I started writing in this blog, I had hoped that it would be a prelude to something. I  had no idea what, but I had certainly hoped that the words that I wrote here would lend itself a meaning. That they would not be merely be like fireworks in the sky that shined for a moment and then fizzle out for the rest of eternity. Many a time, I have felt a surge of emotions within me and just felt the need to express them. But words would fail me.

Words are enigmatic. Put them together in a particular way and they   have far-reaching reverberations. But words can be tricky too. Sometimes you can try and try but they won't bend to your will. I marvel at those writers who have the gift of expression. Those who can conjure words to evoke myriad feelings in the hearts of the readers. Those that can find the power to describe their thoughts like a painter paints a picture. There is just no need to say more. You can feel those feelings. There is this wave of emotion that rises like a rising tide breaking over the banks of the reader's consciousness.

And here I am with words that sound shallow and empty. I am told that in order to convey an idea or feeling, one has to feel it strongly himself. Otherwise it will be like shooting arrows in the dark. When  I was in the middle of writing my first work of fiction, I was told that writing required a level of emotional maturity. I needed to experience the entire gamut of emotions first. Try to gain perspective before I could even expect anybody to connect with my writing. Maybe it is passion that drives any work of creativity.

I have more unpublished blog entries than I would like. I have left them so because they have left many things unsaid. They are not words I myself relate to. Meanwhile, there are several ideas running in my head. Some are sketches of a novel I have been trying to write since forever. Some are story lines for a series of short stories I'm trying to pen down. Some are shreds of memories. Some reflections of thoughts I had at a particular moment of time. All of them have potential. But I haven't found words for them yet. Till then I will continue to blog. And I will publish this entry. Maybe I have once again failed to capture what I set out to express. But this would serve as a reminder of all the things that I have left untold.